Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Gay Like Me


Did you know?

Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in state employment. Currently, the Florida Civil Rights Act protects against discrimination in employment based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, handicap, or marital status The Deutch/Skidmore Civil Rights Bill would add “sexual orientation” and “familial status” as additional protected classes.  This essentially means that in states like Florida you can be fired for being gay without legal recourse. Is this acceptable? We can vote, pay taxes, and even go to war (don’t ask don’t tell) but the basic right to work and provide for our families are not protected under the constitution.

The writer Richard Mohr begins by telling us that 1-5 Americans have a gay acquaintance, a number which should be significantly higher based on the number of homosexuals in the United States. As a lesbian woman myself, I know that number is much higher, many men and woman continue to closet their homosexuality fearing the impact on their lives both personally and professionally. My journey to “Coming out” was one of the most challenging times of my life. I was a married mother of three, living a normal heterosexual life, when at thirty I discovered my homosexuality. People often ask me if being gay was something I always knew. I couldn’t just have become gay; I must be confused or worst bisexual.  I’ve have realized that ones journey towards self discovery is unique to that persons experiences in life. I lived my life I was conditioned to, education, marriage, kids; I always knew something was missing in my relationship with men. My lack of exposure to “gay” culture, friends, and experiences limited my knowledge of sexual orientation and gender identification. The reading reflects on the two major stigmas or stereotypes of homosexuals, the first an issue of confused sexual identification the other the deviant behavior of “gays”.  Society sees me as a straight woman unless corrected, because I do not look like a bull dyke, queer, stud, or tom boy. When confronted with my orientation they are often shocked, surprised, and curious? They want to no if something happened to me. They assume that I nice feminine girl like me should be able to fine a man. Was I molested as a child/ abused by a man? Did I have some awful heterosexual experience? My more masculine counterparts however are often looked at as being born that way, trying to be something they could never be; a man. It never occurs to society that gay people are trying to live, be happy, and love just like heterosexuals.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

WTF

Things that make me say WTF!!!

People who wait until they have all their groceries rung up and then start to fill out their check.. Hello fill out what you can ahead of time, and who uses checks to shop anyway?

Women who don’t shave..ever…anywhere…

Bad personal hygiene.. F.Y.I your ears, nails, and nose need to be cleaned on a regular basis.

People who drink and then want to talk shit or worst talk shit and then get sick.

Woman who because of their own insecurities hate instead of giving props where props are due.

When I miss a sale at Arden B.

Cheap… let me say it again Cheap Ass Women….

Ignorant people; you can’t buy class your born with it.

When someone offers you a blanket because your cold and it looks like its been through some thangs..

Ok,, I’ve done this one but still hate it.. you have a function and you tell people its starts at 4PM and they START arriving at 6PM..URGG!!

People who forget to say please and thank you.

People who allow their children to tear up and never discipline them, but then want to call you talking about….  ”I don’t know why Johnny keeps getting in trouble?”

A woman or man that cant boil water..

People who bring their babies to the movies.

Waiting in long lines…just because

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Me

I’m me… continually evolving into the best me..I strive not to be better than another;
Another mother, another daughter, another lover.
Distinctively magnetic I rise above the conventional teachings of the masses.
I no longer compromise self to uplift tormented souls…
The locust filled filth the spews from green monsters now strengthen my resolve to be better.
I give thanks daily for what has been laid before me.

No Time

I have no time to cry…
Audacious…. Aggressive …Too Attentive to her needs but what about me?
I have no time to cry…
No nonsense Lady Luv, no need for excuses, expectations, conversations, I am my own mental stimulation
I have no time to cry…
Get on your way now….. Out of my head….. My body has been cleansed of your scent; you no longer run through my veins, occupy my thoughts, terrorize my dreams….
What you didn’t know?
I have no time to cry..
Exiled into bitter sweet memories, remember when’s and digital moments archived in my mind.
I have no time to cry…
Lessons learned from loving you, will allow me to love her when she comes. No more tears….Lady…
I have no time to cry

Random *&*(! this and that..

Never understood domestic violence.. I mean I understand the concept of being unable to express yourself with words, the challenge in containing ones urge to choke slam a loved one who has betrayed you.. I get that its a sign of a weak mind when a person.. any person uses violence, intimidation and or abuse to control or coerce another persons actions and or behaviors. I never needed Webster or Dr. Phil for that..Life and Love were my muse. I know what it is, what it looks like...feels like...Is. But what I never really..I mean in my gut of guts understood...was...How do we justify hurting the ones we love?  Or allow the ones who love us, to hurt us. SMDH at life right now..

So I'm a lover not a fighter. I just want to put a smile on your face and the pep in your step...Ya dig..

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

First and foremost... still not smoking.. and Lord knows I have been tested.. Headed to Virgina to visit the beastie and hit a few pride events this weekend.....and Im driving..Wish me luck, because anybody that knows me knows I have undiagnosed ADD tendacies.. and well me in a car with the kids not being able to smoke a cigarette.. it will be interesting.. This week has been very interesting for so many reasons. I have a dear friend who is going through some hard times. She is fighting the fight..where there are no winners.. She is in yet another battle with her bitter adversary.. She is a class act this friend.. Did I mention while raising two wonderful children as a single parent, she is just 12 months away from completing an advanced degree at Harvard (A program she started while in remission) She is also very talented and owns and operates a kick ass small business called Black Pearl Creations...Check it out. Well yesterday my friend was beaten and held hostage along with her five year old daughter for a period of four hours in her own apartment by her live in boyfriend... And even though she screamed and begged...banging on neighbors doors in a failed escape attempt...no one called for help or attempted to assist her. She was eventually able to escape but only after he had punched and kicked her in her stomach and chest where she had 200 sutures from a mastectomy the previous week. This coward piece of shit scum bag was arrested ad my friend will eventually recover but it really just had me thinking about how much society has and continues to change. We have become less empathetic, desensitized to crime and violence. We've become a society where we no longer look out for our elderly neighbors, afraid to discipline or admonish a child that is not ours. Where teachers sleep with their unbderaged students, where retirees rob banks to pay the rent or support a gambling addiction. Where sucide is a viable choice because your a boy trapped in a girls body. A place where mothers smother their babies and husbands transmit STD's to their unsuspecting wives. Where a stay at home moms daily routine consist of carpooling, cooking, cleaning, and clonopin. Where being a Baby Moma is just as good as being a wife. I could go on and on..but why.. you get it. I am disgusted and appaled...Just venting..

Monday, April 25, 2011

Thru the fire #1

I was married once a long time ago to a man I pledged to love through sickness and health until death do us part. I started a family with him, made a home; created memories...built a life. Was it perfect? No..Was it the stuff romance novels and love songs were made of? No did my heart stop? Was breath shallow? Did he make my soul ACHE? Never.. Because Adam lives in theory... It was safe...comfortable...easy...I wanted to be the first one in generations to have a "husband" I wanted to have kids that knew what it was like to have a mother and a father. Married and living under one roof. I wanted them to have what I never had.

 I was married once a long time ago to a man, a wonderful man whose only fault was being a man who married a woman who could only love, truly love another woman... he had to know and when I knew I told him. People always ask, when did you know? I knew the first time I allowed myself to trust that my spirit would never steer me wrong. I don’t believe in accidents, random events that have no connection. Where I am is where I’m meant to be. How I got here makes me the woman I am. Good, bad, or ugly.