Zhade Waters..pt.1

I was running late as usual, and now was not the time! “1415, 17, 19, 23 dam where’s 1421 Columbus?” They were meeting at 2:15 pm and it was 2:32pm and still no luck.  After five weeks of chatting, I was finally meeting LonelyBlues69, my latest cyber buddy.  We seemed to have so much in common, I was a struggling Poet and Blues69 a successful entrepreneur. I was just trying to make ends meet and Blues69 made six figures comfortably.  We were as we say in my Struggling Artist Support group “Financially Yoked”.  Blues69 was more than just successful; Blues69 was confidant, assertive, and sexy as hell.  For a moment on the way over to Bob’s Bistro I thought of Andre and the kids and felt regret.  In many ways I knew the marriage was over before the girls were born, but I stayed because I didn’t know how to leave.  I stayed because I wanted the girls to have what I never did, a father.  Just as I begin to slip into my thoughts I looked up and realized that 1421 was located down an adjacent ally.  The smell of fresh brewed coffee greeted me as I entered the café’s side door.  Looking around cautiously to see I could recognize the face from the photo that was now so familiar to me.  Could it be possible that my cyber buddy left, thinking I was a no show? I was so nervous; what if there was no physical attraction? I was often described as a non-traditional beauty; standing 5‘7 slim at size four.   I had long legs most women would kill for but to me they were
 twig like, something even the gym couldn’t fix. My Seductive eyes, full lips, and cinnamon brown color often drew people into my world.
  “Zhade, is that you?”
  The voice coming from behind me was unmistakable it was Blues69.  I turned around and there “she” was should I shake her hand? Give her a hug? What was appropriate given the circumstances?
“Hello Michelle it’s nice to finally meet you” I walked over and gave her a warm embrace, smelling her cologne as my nose brushed against her neck.
“Likewise” Michelle paused and looked me over from head to toe as a grin appeared across her face.  “What is so funny?” I asked.
“Nothing, you are just even more beautiful in person; that was a look of approval baby.”
Did she just call me baby? It rolled off her tongue like she had been saying it a lifetime.  I remember receiving her note on my personals page, thinking maybe this one is different.  It had been about a year since I started surfing the net, and cruising the bars searching for Ms. All and Everything.  Unfortunately the only women I ever met were either ready to move in after the first date, playas, or wanted nothing to do with me because I was the dreaded “B” word-Bisexual! Michelle and I spend the next four hours discussing everything from current events to my ever-ending quest to balance writing for a living and paying the bills.  She was so different from the more feminine women I was typically attracted to.  Smooth dark brown skin, sexy ultra low natural hair cut, with slanted seductive eyes that created wetness between my legs.  There was something androgynous about her, clearly she was a woman but her boyish swagger gave her an exotic edge.  The more we talked the more intrigued I became, she was intelligent, witty, slightly sarcastic, employed and thick- dam if this wasn’t the distraction I was looking for than what was?  My life had been really chaotic over the last month, and I had some serious tension that needed relieving one way or another. So as I sat across Michelle at the café my mind was working overtime, deciding just how to move things along.
“So Michelle…I was thinking maybe we could have dinner some time?”  Without missing a beat she gave me a devilish grin and said simply,
“We will see my challenge, I have a passion for many things but I’m committed to few.
What did she mean by “My challenge”? She must have read my mind, because Michelle leaned forward with a look that was all business and said “I say my challenge because I know myself and from all that we have talked about in the last month, and spending this time here with you today I feel your desire and commitment to the things in life that you want. I know that if what you want is me then you will make it happen, but at what cost? And because I am who I am, we will feed off of each other in a fucked up game of cat and mouse. Your commitment becomes my challenge, and that challenge makes me weak, because then instead of craving it, I’m addicted to it. “I know it sounds crazy now, but in that moment all I could think was dam she’s fine. It never even crossed my mind that Michelle had just broken it down for me. (YOUR LIFE WITH ME 101). That she told me all I needed to know, about what the next four years of our lives together would look like. At that very moment my phone rang interrupting what should have been my response to everything she just said. It was my daughter Andrea, this was her third time calling.  “Zhade Waters.”
          “Mommy why do you answer your phone like that when you know it’s just me.  Can you stop by the drugstore on the way home and pick me up some body spray?”
          “Andrea I know you are not calling me three times to ask about body spray? Is everything ok? I couldn’t even believe her, ever since turning 15 earlier this year; she has been challenging her limits with me. “Everything fine dad is about to start cooking dinner now. “Dinner! Shit it was almost six. I really needed to get home.
          “Ill see you when I get home Andrea” I could hear my child as I closed the phone saying something about picking up body spray. Kids, I often wondered if they had some sixth sense when you were doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing, as you would when they were up to no good.
“Is everything ok? I was startled by Michelle’s voice, but quickly returned my attention to her as we continued to talk not wanting the date to end, but knowing it would.
“My answer is yes Zhade.”
“Yes? I didn’t ask you anything Michelle.”
“Oh but you did, you said we should do dinner sometime. Now’s the time it’s seven I’m hungry, and you look so good in that dress it deserves to be shown. You can ride with me and Ill bring you back to your car later, or is there somewhere else you have to be???” I knew I should’ve been at home with Andre and the kids’ hours ago, but here is where I wanted to be.
          Grabbing Michelle by the hand I smiled and said “Where else would I want to be?”
On the way to the restaurant as we listened to Maxwell’s greatest hits Michelle was busy checking her voice messages, when I sent Andre a text message telling him I wouldn’t make it home for dinner.   I know sending a text message was inappropriate, but I wasn’t really inn the mood to hear his whining about wanting to spend time with me.  Plus I knew all I had to do was give him a little lovin when I got home, and any issues he was having would be forgotten.  Don’t get me wrong its not that I didn’t love Andre, I did but it wasn’t the type of love that a wife should have for her husband. It was a love of convenience, a love of gratitude, a love of good black man.  My friends constantly told me how much they wished their men were like Andre.  He was 5’10 190lbs with a body that made your panties wet. He played football for the Marines while on active duty and was the type of brother whose dick got hard just thinking about going to the gym. He wasn’t much of a drinker and never smoked or tried illegal drugs a day in his life.  By 36 he had already served two tours in the Marines, owned a small landscaping business, and was married with two children.  Andre was devoted to his family and would do anything for me and the kids.
          “So you ready to eat Lady?”  Michelle said interrupting my thoughts. I looked over at her and smiled as she pulled into an empty parking space. At dinner we talked some more, but this time our conversation was more sensual, provocative even.  It never even dawned on me to that we hadn’t finished our earlier conversation regarding me being her challenge.