Goodbye Nicotine

So after one half hearted failed attempt to quit smoking as my New Years reslotion, Ive decided that I no longer want to be a prisoner to Nicotine. @9pm 2/22/2011 almost 24 hours ago I smoked my last cigarette. So why now? Well I recently celebrated my 39th birthday, I hate the way it smells, I hate the stigma of it, It cost $9.71/pack per day. Thats crazy.. Newly single and guess what no one is looking for a smoker but nother smoker.. Most importantly my kids hate it and have want my to quit. So here we go. So far so good. Im not going to lie really wish I could just take one puff.. but I know one leads to two two leads to three. I have a slight headache and I keep snacking...lucky for me I can stand to gain a few pounds. lol... Until tommorow.. Wish me luck..

Remember The Days

Remember The Days??

When dark days and dark night collided.
Stolen at gunpoint from African sands, taken my death ships to foreign lands.

Brothers from brothers;Mothers from daughters, crying out in horrid pain…
Stripped naked..of language,culture,name.

Angola to Brazil
The Congo to Belize
Senegal moves through the Caribbean.
Destination: Richmond 15 million strong.

What is this place? What are they saying? Why…. Am…. I….. here?

Our backs are weary, the journey’s been long..
But still… we stand STRONG..Praying, dreaming, singing our native songs..

Exploited, belittled, violated in every way,
We can’t go back, but why oh why do we stay?

Chains, whips, ropes, and hoses..
Didn’t Abe say we was free?

But wait..Now these are the days..

Discrimination, Segregation, Black on Black Degradation, Urban Isolation, Inferior Education, re-gentrification, Police Intimidation…The New Drug Sensation.

When young boys choose street smarts, not book smarts.
Tears drops and gun shots…

When exposing your boxers to an elderly woman making her way..is acceptable…

When a woman must go to the man to get her child’s father to stand up and be a man..
I mean damn I just don’t understand.

When ridding the T means hearing nigga this and nigga that, and bitch this and bitch that…

We sit pretending that its not happening, and that its…
Somebody else’s child walking like that and….
Somebody else’s child talking like that and..
Somebody else’s child looking like that.

But wait…These are the days…
And today is the day..that WE..
Remember the days , never forget the days, cherish the days,
But live in a way that says… I am somebody.. I am somebody..

I wish

I wish that I could work four days and get paid
for five.
I wish I knew where in ..Africa.. my roots began?
I wish the government understood that poor people in ….America…. are dying every hour of
every day.
I wish I knew what I know now…then.
I wish that every mother that has ever lost a child to violence could turn back
the hands of time.
I wish that every dead beat dad knew how to stand tall and be a man.
I wish that the prisons were not un-proportionately full of men of color.
I wish I went to law school.
I wish that I could have one last conversation with my grandmother.
I wish I could sing. I mean that singing that makes you weep.
I wish I had more patience.
I wish I could forget…forget!
Damn I wish I could remember.
I wish I didn’t have to worry about another snowy ..New England..
winter.
I wish love and light transcended hate and darkness.
I wish…..

So 68 inches and counting of snow so far this winter, and I am beyond over it. Please save me the " You live in New England you should know what to expect." I expect that old man winter would understand that you know its bad when even the kids are complaining about snow days.  Its impossible to find motivation to do even the simpliest of task. Taking the trash out is a challange finding parking impossible, amd apparently the US Postal service is selectively delivering the mail. And as if this wasnt enough I am going through a break up with a log term on again off again girlfriend..Yes girlfiend. And as much as the breakup was overdue and much needed...I am feeling the winter blues.